I distinctly remember the month of September. Easter Vigil seemed an eternity away. Now, I am half way through RCIA, and Easter is in less than 20 weeks. I have learned much. Not just about the Catholic religion and faith, either. I’ve learned a lot about myself, my place in this world, and how I relate to it. This is where my favorite human fault begins to kick in. Laziness. Oh, how I love to do absolutely nothing. To sit and daydream, to watch Netflix for 7 hours straight, to sleep…. Entirely selfish things, I know. I gave up much of this when I started RCIA. It was easier than I thought it would be. I settled in quickly to a routine of daily Mass, RCIA, adoration, lectio divina, and prayer. Then the distractions started calling my name. They beckoned to me like a painted woman.
My newly found discipline starting slipping from my grasp. Then I encountered the ultimate distraction…love. I have been single for 13 years. Upon encountering the Catholic Church I had already resigned myself to being a bachelor, forever. Seems the God of Abraham and David might have a bit of cheek. It is a good thing. I learn more about compromise and selflessness each day. I’ve also learned that now is the time to double down. I truly believe that every good thing happening in my life right now is a result of my seeking a firm connection with God. If I want to keep the precious jewels I have been given, I must continue to walk forward in faith.
I have deep within me a couple of posts that bubble to the surface, but I cannot seem to fully formulate. Don’t worry, because I am not. To me, it just means that I have more to experience and learn before I can type them up.
I do know the title of one. It is forming itself as, “Symptoms of Salvation.” It isn’t just about renewal, grace, and salvation though. It has a lot to do with tearing down some of my own inner walls and judgements around organized religions in general. That is probably the truest sign of grace in my life. A willingness to grow and reach out to the humanity in all of us is NOT one of my finer features.
So I’m sitting here, smack dab in the middle of Advent, trying to remind myself that I am not in a race. As I have said before, Easter Vigil is the starting line, not the finish line.
On the topic of Advent, I can’t really say much. It is the first time I have looked at Christmas from this perspective. It is a little wobbly and new. It’s nice though. I like it much better than the consumerist craze of the world.